Bleach Parody 1: Be Prepared

Aizen: I know that your powers of retention
Are as wet as a warthog's backside
But, thick as you are, pay attention!
My words are a matter of pride
It's clear from your vacant expressions
The lights are not all on upstairs
But we're talking kings and successions (Looks at Starrk, who's asleep)
Even YOU can't be caught unawares! (Starrk: "Huh, what?")

So prepare for a chance of a lifetime
Be prepared for sensational news
A shining new era
Is tiptoeing nearer
Aaroniero: And where do we feature?
Aizen: Just listen to teacher (Gin imitates an angry teacher behind Aizen's back)
I know it sounds sordid, but you'll be rewarded
When at last I am given my dues!
And injustice deliciously squared
Be prepared!

Grimmjow: Yeah, be prepared, we'll be prepared
…For what?
Aizen: Well, old-man Barragan has been king long enough.
Grimmjow: Who needs that old bastard?
Nnoitra: Who needs a king?
Nnoitra and Lower Arrancar: No king, no king, la la la la la la
Aizen: Idiots! There WILL be a king!
Nnoitra: But you said...
Aizen: I will be king! Stick with me, and we'll rule over all Hollows!
Nnoitra and Lower Arrancar: All right, long live the king! Long live the king!

Lower Arrancar: It's great that we'll soon be connected
With a king who'll be all-time adored

Aizen: Of course, quid pro quo, you're expected
To take certain duties on board
The future is littered with prizes
And though I'm the main addressee
The point that I must emphasize is (Looks at Grimmjow, who is whispering with his Fraccion)
YOU WON'T GET A SNIFF WITHOUT ME!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Grimmjow falls, shocked)
So prepare for the coup of the century
Be prepared for the murkiest scam
Meticulous planning, tenacity spanning, decades of denial, is simply why I
Will be king, undisputed, respected, saluted
And seen for the wonder I am!

Grimmjow: Yes, my teeth and ambitions are bared
Be prepared!

Grimmjow's Fraccion: Yes, our teeth and ambitions are bared
Be prepared!



(a while after)

Nel: I wonder who's actually gonna stay with that guy
Ulquiorra: I think I will. It's better than being alone.
Grimmjow: I definitely will
Nnoitra: Yeah, we heard that! Seriously though, I think I'll stay with him, too. How about you, Nel?
Nel: I think so, too. Like Ulquiorra said, it's better than being alone
Aaroniero: We'll stay, too
Starrk: As long as not everyone around me dies, I'm fine with it
Ulquiorra: (chokes on his tea) What did you just say?!
(He gets no answer, as Starrk is asleep again)